Evidence I’ve (hopefully temporarily) lost it

So it’s been like a month, or a year, or a decade – I’m not sure – since I posted last. I doesn’t really matter since I’ve really only posted like 10 times since I started this blog a few months back…. Oh yeah and I have no readers J

It’s been a bit crazy around here trying to get ready for the wedding. Here’s a nice little recap of my week:

Tuesday-Wednesday
Crazy 16 hour sob-fest over stress and money

Thursday
Washed my cell phone in the washing machine

Friday morning
Realized on my way out the door to work that I left my keys in my sister’s car the night before. Had to ask house-guest groomsman to drive me to said sister’s car in the hippy van. Couldn’t figure out how to work hippy van. Drove all the way to sister’s car with the windshield wipers going on the most beautiful September morning I think I’ve ever been alive for.

Friday afternoon
Went home early to work on wedding stuff. Ended up watching hours of reality TV and eating cookies.

Friday evening
Got some wedding stuff done.

Friday night
Watched A LOT more reality TV.

Saturday morning
Spent an hour laying in bed reading old Sex and the City blog posts from TWO YEARS AGO on my blackberry. I kind of looked like one of those made-for-TV-movie moms who just watch TV and drink while their babies are screaming in the background. Only I was even too lazy to move to the TV and my babies were actually tiny dogs running around barking like the house was being invaded.

And now…
Back to reality. Well, completely bizarre one-week-to-the-wedding, bridal reality.

I'm nuts and need to get a life

So I'd like to start out this post by saying that I don't normally comment on current events, or politics, or celebrities, or whatever, but I've only had this blog for a few months now, so I can't really say anything of the sort. Plus I think it's kind of obnoxious when bloggers do that.

Anyway, apparently Michelle Obama wore shorts to the Grand Canyon and that means every news outlet in America has to comment on it. Please read this posting from Newsweek - it perfectly encapsulates my opinion on the matter.

Basically people are NUTS and need to get a life...but does that really mean I'm nuts and need to get a life if I actually clicked on the article and read it?

When can I officially start counting down without sounding crazy?

33 days! Oops I couldn't help myself :)

Let sleeping dogs lie

After hours of pulling my hair out, muffling screams and pacing back and forth, they do this and I forget how much they terrorize me every day.

Hot dog! Summer in the City

In the Northwest, no one and I mean NO ONE has air conditioning, and none of us are used to heat at all. Pretty much, we're all wimps. As for my family... wimp does not begin to describe it! 

Last night might have been the longest night of my entire life. We had someone spend the night, so Griffey was in extreme guard dog mode. He barked at cats across the street, people 15 blocks away, the wind, the heat, God, his imagination,  everything.

At one point, he was eerily quiet. I hoped (knowing I was foolishly dreaming) that he had just decided to sleep downstairs. Maybe it was cooler down there? After a few seconds, I got up and checked on him. He was not downstairs sleeping like the angel I had been picturing. He was, in fact, laying in the hallway eating chocolate lube.

No, I'm not that cool... or crazy. I do not buy lube, or chocolate lube, or talk about it on the internet. It was my bachelorette party last Saturday night and I got the tasty treat from a close friend. I don't think she envisioned Griffey mowing it down in the hallway when she bought it, but really that's the only thing it'd ever get used for. So what I guess I'm trying to say is, "Thank you Caylin, your present was very thoughtful and has been put to good use."

So how are we trying to beat the heat tonight? Well I moved the hugest fan ever produced up to the bedroom this afternoon. Moving it alone made me need to take a shower. It's pointing at what normally is my side of the bed, but since it's near the window, it's currently C's side. Please say a little prayer for me tonight asking that C not roll over every time Griffey barks to say "Babe. I'm really hot."

Lazy Bones

Even though I don't close the door, Ken Griffey Jr. and Britney Spears wait outside the bathroom for me every day. 

Half the time, the second I slide the shower curtain open, they come barreling in for a crazy leg-licking session as if I've deprived them of water their entire lives. The other 1/2 the time, they don't even flinch when I get out and I come around the corner to this.

Bridezilla rant #1

I haven't really written anything about our upcoming wedding on here and I've kind of been avoiding it. Where do I start? What should I say? How do I write about it without being annoying? Well, I guess I'm throwing that out the window today and going a little Bridezilla on your ass! :)

My dad set me with up a friend of his who works for a party rental place. I went to visit three weeks ago and got really excited. Everything looked gorgeous and fun and wedding-y. I told the guy I'd email him my needs/wants and ask for a quote. He emailed back the very next day and said, "I'm sorry but I forgot the date of your wedding. Just let me know that and I can put in your order."

WHOA hold your horses there mister man! I don't want you to put in an order for anything until I get a quote. Now, of course I was much more diplomatic than that in my email and politely asked if he'd send me a quote before placing any orders. 

Two weeks go by and I hear nothing back. I email him again saying "Hey, just checking in on this quote." Still, nothing.

So this past Monday morning I called him on the phone. He told me my paperwork was literally on the top of his pile and asked if I'd give him until the end of the day to send it to me. "Of course!" I said. "I'm looking forward to it."

Three days later, still nothing. ARGGGGG

I missed my chance!!!!!

Just now, there was a knock on the door. I went to look and a random guy had come to the door then walked back to wait all the way back on the sidewalk. I cracked open the door because Griffey and Britney would've made a run for it if they could. Here's how the conversation went:

Random guy referring to the hippy van on the side of our house: Is that your van over there? 

Me: yeah

Random guy: Do you want to get rid of it?

Me after thoughtful hesitation: No

Random guy: You don't want to sell it?

Me after more thoughtful hesitation: No :(

Redheads

One day, several years ago, our family was having dinner and one of us mentioned always seeing this family of curly-cue redheads walking down the same strip of road near our house. There were three stair-step kids and a mom. The rest of us each had their own shocked reaction of "I always see them there too!!!" It was bizarre. All of us had our own private laughs when we drove by this family totally unaware that we all had the exact same experiences.

From then on, we've always reported back our sightings of The Redheads. I have had the most up-close experience with The Redheads. I was playing tennis at a park near our house and the whole family of little Redheads came around the corner. I was dumbfounded. I had never seen them outside of my car before and they were SO CLOSE. Then, one of them came up to me and asked me where the playground was. It was amazing! They spoke to me! Of course, I immediately called home to brag about it.

Yesterday, my mom (a banker) texted all of us to say The Redheads had come into the bank. She suggested I write a blog about redheads, and I had to ask if she meant redheads in general or a blog all about The Redheads. She said redheads in general, but regular updates on The Redheads would be most appropriate.

Now, I don't think I have enough material yet to blog about redheads alone, so now, thanks to my  mom, you can all expect to receive general redhead updates on this one.

In closing, here's a snippet of a conversation often heard around these parts:

Me: Our kids are gonna look like Little Orphan Annie

C: Yeah right, more like Problem Child!

Griffey's keeper

So I'm only two chapters into the book My Sister's Keeper and I already feel bad for adopting Britney just so Griffey would have company while we were at work. I don't think she'll hire a lawyer to disown us, but I don't think the 13-year-old girl's parents thought that either.

Kris Wycoff

After cleaning up the toilet paper tornado that hit our bathroom today, I came to a realization. Actually, it was more like I was finally able to put to words what I have been thinking for weeks now:

Welcoming Britney Spears to our family has been less like having a 2nd baby and more like permanently adopting Kris Wycoff.

Kris Wycoff was my brother's best friend growing up. He was an adorable kid to look at - short, blond, big glasses, cute as can be. But boy was he a terror! Whenever he was over, he'd get my brother into the most hilarious and naughty situations. My brother was just fine at being a boy, in my opinion. Cutting off my Barbies' hair, dirtying up the house, yelling, playing basketball indoors... but Kris Wycoff really knew how to take things to the next level in naughty boy world.

The same goes for Griffey and Britney. By no means am I denying Griffey did his fair share of naughty things because I have cried over waaaay to many shoes to let that be misunderstood. But with Britney here, it's like he's learning all new ways to drive me crazy! One timely example being the previous post with the toilet paper all over the bathroom. Griffey never knew you could grab one square of toilet paper and create an entire's day worth of fun.

Now I'm sure Griffey is secretly teaching Britney just as many dirty tricks and my brother taught Kris back in the day, but he's just more sly about it. And just as my brother has never let on how much damage he did on his own and blamed more than his fair share on his fair-haired devil friend, I know Griffey will never let on what he's shown Brit. I guess that's what brothers do.

Oh yeah and when my brother and Kris put on every single article of clothing they owned to make a rap video by fat people, Kris couldn't get the clothes off quickly enough and peed his pants. Britney does that all the time too.

Ahhhh, welcome home!

I know it's been a while since I last posted, but I kept avoiding it because it had been so long. I thought since I had been gone for so long, I'd need to make it a really good one when I finally did write...but then I realized I have very few real readers (yet!), so it doesn't really matter as long as I keep at it.

So, without further ado, here's how I was welcomed home today after a particularly grumpy afternoon. 

Weddings

OK, so it's been a little while since I've posted, but I haven't forgotten about you, dear internet.

Since the last time I posted, a lot's been going on. 

Britney's growing and Griffey's growing more used to her. Sometimes, they even sleep next to each other for like 5 WHOLE MINUTES! It is adorable beyond words.

Griffey saved us from C's car getting broken into. C and I swore at them out our bedroom windows in the middle of the night and they ran away.

C went fishing and filled our freezer with salmon. Yuck, I mean YUM! :)

I've been working like crazy, hosted a bridal shower (not mine) and am the maid-of-honor in Suzanna's wedding this weekend...shared with Alissa, but she's married now, so she's the MATRON-of-honor - HAHA :)

It's really starting to feel like the wedding is coming up quickly now. Once Suzanna gets married, I think it'll really hit me. I've been so focused on she and Alissa's that I just keep thinking "Mine's not for a while! They have to do their first." But we're almost done with that, and my wedding website says we only have 95 days left! YAY!!!!

Our little police dog

So Griffey barks like a maniac pretty much every night in our bedroom. I get up most of the time and see a cat walking by or a squirrel or sometimes nothing at all. For some reason though, C knows when his barks are real "There are bad guys walking around outside" barks.

Thursday night while we were sleeping, Griffey started going crazy. C woke up and looked outside and there were two guys walking by. I got up to take the puppies out for some mid-sleeping potty time and noted it was 3:38 a.m. When we got back upstairs C asked if the truck that was parked next to our house had been there when we went to bed. I told him it wasn't and started spying into the back of the truck from the upstairs window. I saw one of the kids come back to the truck and drive away. We all laid back down in bed.

A few minutes later I heard another car coming down the street and said "What the heck are all these people doing driving around at 3:30 on weeknight?" We heard the car park and a door close. I got up to see what was going on and the kids had driven back, gotten out the truck and were shining a flashlight into C's car. Before I could alert him, C was already yelling at the kids to leave. They started running to the truck and I shouted at them as well for good measure.

Thanks to Griffey, another T-town robbery has been averted!

Morning routine

So I took a long shower this morning thinking "Ya know, this may not be so bad after all, having two puppies in the house."

But then they became suspiciously quiet, so I hurried my way through the last few minutes of the shower. I jumped out, dried myself off and walked to the door of the bathroom. They both looked up at me with the most precious, innocent eyes like "What?"

Britney had a phone charger hanging out of her mouth that she had bitten down to the wire you're not supposed to see and Griffey was right behind her standing in the epicenter of the sponge he had stolen from the kitchen sink and torn to shreds. Anyone who knows Griffey, also knows he unknowingly had a huge chunk of said sponge hanging from his beard.

I heart 'Merica

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjwkyYksrHU

Girls v. Boys

There's been a lot of girls versus boys in the house since we got little Britney. She and Griffey have already some hilarious throw-downs!

Unfortunately, C had a family issue arise and had to go to San Francisco yesterday. My sister watched the dogs all day since she had the day off and we decided she should spend the night with me since C was out of town. Here's how the conversation went last night:

Me: I think my sister might sleep here so the dogs stay used to having 2 people in the bed.

C: Seriously? You're going to have your sister sleep with you? They're not going to always have 2 people sleeping in the bed you know?

Me: Yeah, what? Do you not want her to?

C: No, I don't care. Whatever. Girls are weird like that.

Britney Spears peed on my pillow

Yesterday, C and I went temporarily insane and decided to get a new puppy. We've been going back and forth about getting Griffey a friend for a while now and can never decide if we think he'll like the companionship when we're at work all day or if he'll hate us forever because he's not the only one in our lives anymore. Well we now know it's the latter.

We found Britney Spears at a garage sale and she is seriously precious (pics to come later). We brought Griffey over to meet her and they seemed to get along alright. We got home and all hell broke loose. He does not like having an adorable 2-month-old taking all the attention away from the humans.

Currently, I have to agree with The Griffster in harboring serious dislike for the little one. First thing this morning she wobbled around for a second trying to stand and steer clear of the wrath of Griffey, then she popped a quick little squat and peed right on my pillow.

Adopting Ken Griffey Jr.

Two years ago, I was out to dinner and got a pix message from C with a tiny black dog curled up next to a shoe and the message "This could be our dog if we want him." I called back right away, but that was 1/2 an hour after the message was sent. By the time, I talked to C, Ken Griffey Jr. was ours.

I never had a dog growing up and adopting one at that point was the last thing on my mind, but today I don't know what I would do without him... C or Griffey for that matter :)

Griffey is BY FAR the craziest dog this planet has ever seen; anyone who knows him can attest to that fact. And with his enormous bat ears, 2 inch tuft of white chest hair and ridiculous haircut, his beauty is beyond words. He is the 2nd love of my life.

Here we grow!

Hi all,

Welcome to my blog. Check back often and comment!

-S