Let sleeping dogs lie

After hours of pulling my hair out, muffling screams and pacing back and forth, they do this and I forget how much they terrorize me every day.

Hot dog! Summer in the City

In the Northwest, no one and I mean NO ONE has air conditioning, and none of us are used to heat at all. Pretty much, we're all wimps. As for my family... wimp does not begin to describe it! 

Last night might have been the longest night of my entire life. We had someone spend the night, so Griffey was in extreme guard dog mode. He barked at cats across the street, people 15 blocks away, the wind, the heat, God, his imagination,  everything.

At one point, he was eerily quiet. I hoped (knowing I was foolishly dreaming) that he had just decided to sleep downstairs. Maybe it was cooler down there? After a few seconds, I got up and checked on him. He was not downstairs sleeping like the angel I had been picturing. He was, in fact, laying in the hallway eating chocolate lube.

No, I'm not that cool... or crazy. I do not buy lube, or chocolate lube, or talk about it on the internet. It was my bachelorette party last Saturday night and I got the tasty treat from a close friend. I don't think she envisioned Griffey mowing it down in the hallway when she bought it, but really that's the only thing it'd ever get used for. So what I guess I'm trying to say is, "Thank you Caylin, your present was very thoughtful and has been put to good use."

So how are we trying to beat the heat tonight? Well I moved the hugest fan ever produced up to the bedroom this afternoon. Moving it alone made me need to take a shower. It's pointing at what normally is my side of the bed, but since it's near the window, it's currently C's side. Please say a little prayer for me tonight asking that C not roll over every time Griffey barks to say "Babe. I'm really hot."

Lazy Bones

Even though I don't close the door, Ken Griffey Jr. and Britney Spears wait outside the bathroom for me every day. 

Half the time, the second I slide the shower curtain open, they come barreling in for a crazy leg-licking session as if I've deprived them of water their entire lives. The other 1/2 the time, they don't even flinch when I get out and I come around the corner to this.

I missed my chance!!!!!

Just now, there was a knock on the door. I went to look and a random guy had come to the door then walked back to wait all the way back on the sidewalk. I cracked open the door because Griffey and Britney would've made a run for it if they could. Here's how the conversation went:

Random guy referring to the hippy van on the side of our house: Is that your van over there? 

Me: yeah

Random guy: Do you want to get rid of it?

Me after thoughtful hesitation: No

Random guy: You don't want to sell it?

Me after more thoughtful hesitation: No :(

Griffey's keeper

So I'm only two chapters into the book My Sister's Keeper and I already feel bad for adopting Britney just so Griffey would have company while we were at work. I don't think she'll hire a lawyer to disown us, but I don't think the 13-year-old girl's parents thought that either.

Kris Wycoff

After cleaning up the toilet paper tornado that hit our bathroom today, I came to a realization. Actually, it was more like I was finally able to put to words what I have been thinking for weeks now:

Welcoming Britney Spears to our family has been less like having a 2nd baby and more like permanently adopting Kris Wycoff.

Kris Wycoff was my brother's best friend growing up. He was an adorable kid to look at - short, blond, big glasses, cute as can be. But boy was he a terror! Whenever he was over, he'd get my brother into the most hilarious and naughty situations. My brother was just fine at being a boy, in my opinion. Cutting off my Barbies' hair, dirtying up the house, yelling, playing basketball indoors... but Kris Wycoff really knew how to take things to the next level in naughty boy world.

The same goes for Griffey and Britney. By no means am I denying Griffey did his fair share of naughty things because I have cried over waaaay to many shoes to let that be misunderstood. But with Britney here, it's like he's learning all new ways to drive me crazy! One timely example being the previous post with the toilet paper all over the bathroom. Griffey never knew you could grab one square of toilet paper and create an entire's day worth of fun.

Now I'm sure Griffey is secretly teaching Britney just as many dirty tricks and my brother taught Kris back in the day, but he's just more sly about it. And just as my brother has never let on how much damage he did on his own and blamed more than his fair share on his fair-haired devil friend, I know Griffey will never let on what he's shown Brit. I guess that's what brothers do.

Oh yeah and when my brother and Kris put on every single article of clothing they owned to make a rap video by fat people, Kris couldn't get the clothes off quickly enough and peed his pants. Britney does that all the time too.

Ahhhh, welcome home!

I know it's been a while since I last posted, but I kept avoiding it because it had been so long. I thought since I had been gone for so long, I'd need to make it a really good one when I finally did write...but then I realized I have very few real readers (yet!), so it doesn't really matter as long as I keep at it.

So, without further ado, here's how I was welcomed home today after a particularly grumpy afternoon. 

Weddings

OK, so it's been a little while since I've posted, but I haven't forgotten about you, dear internet.

Since the last time I posted, a lot's been going on. 

Britney's growing and Griffey's growing more used to her. Sometimes, they even sleep next to each other for like 5 WHOLE MINUTES! It is adorable beyond words.

Griffey saved us from C's car getting broken into. C and I swore at them out our bedroom windows in the middle of the night and they ran away.

C went fishing and filled our freezer with salmon. Yuck, I mean YUM! :)

I've been working like crazy, hosted a bridal shower (not mine) and am the maid-of-honor in Suzanna's wedding this weekend...shared with Alissa, but she's married now, so she's the MATRON-of-honor - HAHA :)

It's really starting to feel like the wedding is coming up quickly now. Once Suzanna gets married, I think it'll really hit me. I've been so focused on she and Alissa's that I just keep thinking "Mine's not for a while! They have to do their first." But we're almost done with that, and my wedding website says we only have 95 days left! YAY!!!!

Morning routine

So I took a long shower this morning thinking "Ya know, this may not be so bad after all, having two puppies in the house."

But then they became suspiciously quiet, so I hurried my way through the last few minutes of the shower. I jumped out, dried myself off and walked to the door of the bathroom. They both looked up at me with the most precious, innocent eyes like "What?"

Britney had a phone charger hanging out of her mouth that she had bitten down to the wire you're not supposed to see and Griffey was right behind her standing in the epicenter of the sponge he had stolen from the kitchen sink and torn to shreds. Anyone who knows Griffey, also knows he unknowingly had a huge chunk of said sponge hanging from his beard.

Girls v. Boys

There's been a lot of girls versus boys in the house since we got little Britney. She and Griffey have already some hilarious throw-downs!

Unfortunately, C had a family issue arise and had to go to San Francisco yesterday. My sister watched the dogs all day since she had the day off and we decided she should spend the night with me since C was out of town. Here's how the conversation went last night:

Me: I think my sister might sleep here so the dogs stay used to having 2 people in the bed.

C: Seriously? You're going to have your sister sleep with you? They're not going to always have 2 people sleeping in the bed you know?

Me: Yeah, what? Do you not want her to?

C: No, I don't care. Whatever. Girls are weird like that.

Britney Spears peed on my pillow

Yesterday, C and I went temporarily insane and decided to get a new puppy. We've been going back and forth about getting Griffey a friend for a while now and can never decide if we think he'll like the companionship when we're at work all day or if he'll hate us forever because he's not the only one in our lives anymore. Well we now know it's the latter.

We found Britney Spears at a garage sale and she is seriously precious (pics to come later). We brought Griffey over to meet her and they seemed to get along alright. We got home and all hell broke loose. He does not like having an adorable 2-month-old taking all the attention away from the humans.

Currently, I have to agree with The Griffster in harboring serious dislike for the little one. First thing this morning she wobbled around for a second trying to stand and steer clear of the wrath of Griffey, then she popped a quick little squat and peed right on my pillow.

Adopting Ken Griffey Jr.

Two years ago, I was out to dinner and got a pix message from C with a tiny black dog curled up next to a shoe and the message "This could be our dog if we want him." I called back right away, but that was 1/2 an hour after the message was sent. By the time, I talked to C, Ken Griffey Jr. was ours.

I never had a dog growing up and adopting one at that point was the last thing on my mind, but today I don't know what I would do without him... C or Griffey for that matter :)

Griffey is BY FAR the craziest dog this planet has ever seen; anyone who knows him can attest to that fact. And with his enormous bat ears, 2 inch tuft of white chest hair and ridiculous haircut, his beauty is beyond words. He is the 2nd love of my life.